Conflict is never easy to deal with. I think that when we deal with conflict, we realize that we do have at least some spark of selfishness and pride in us which God needs to remove. For this reason, the first step in conflict resolution is to put aside selfishness and pride.
Selfishness: Musical preferences—what music is
played or sung in church—are a huge source of conflict
in churches today. However, the real source of musical
conflict and war in the church is not the music itself but
the attitude behind the demands. Instead of being “filled
with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and
hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody
with your heart to the Lord” (Eph. 5:18, 19, NASB), people
forget the Holy Spirit as they demand that the melody
satisfy the emotional desires of their own hearts. The focus
of the music actually turns inward for personal pleasure
and satisfaction instead of outward and upward for
God’s pleasure and satisfaction.
Underlying this conflict is the fact that too
many Christians equate worship with how
they feel and, because music so powerfully
stirs our emotions, the end result
is that people judge the worship service
on how the music affected them. But
worship is not only about how you feel
or what you receive; true worship must
be done in spirit and truth (John 4:24),
which means it is about willfully giving
God the honor and praise He is due. True
worship includes Bible readings,
prayer, an offering, and a sermon,
as well as music. Perhaps
our personal and corporate
worship would improve if we would remember that God looks at our hearts and knows
whether we are focused on worshiping Him or disgruntled
because our personal preferences are not being met.
Pride: Pride is the opposite of humility, which is necessary
for unity in the church. Humility regards other
people as more important than self and seeks out the
best interests of others, even when it requires personal
sacrifice. That is exactly what Jesus did for us when He
became a man and died in our place. He placed our interests
above His own. Pride regards other people as less
important than self and seeks to fulfill personal interests
at the expense of others. That is the way of the world.
At least to some degree, pride plays a role in most
conflicts. Pride demands its own way in issues of personal
preference because pride believes its preferences
are superior to those of others; therefore, it demands that
people change to meet its desires. Pride is arrogant, so it
is also damaging to the normal structure of relationships
in any group, including the church.
If you are experiencing conflict, be humble and seek
to work it out. In Matthew 5:23, 24, Jesus tells us that we
need to reconcile with our brothers before we can properly
worship God. We are to strive to be at peace with all
men as far as it depends on us (Rom. 12:18). Jesus told
us to love our enemies (Matt. 6:44); no matter how badly
they have treated us, we are still to try to resolve conflicts
with them following His advice. If we cannot work
it out ourselves, then we should get help from someone
who is godly and not involved in the conflict. When we
see others in conflict, we should seek to help—or get
help—instead of ignoring it.
The cause of Jesus Christ is damaged by unresolved
conflicts. We need to make sure that we are part of the
solution, not part of the problem. In that way, we may
bring glory to our Savior’s name.
