The recent research of Daniel Yankelovich indicates that 70% of adult Americans have many acquaintances but few close friends. One must wonder if this is also true in the average congregation. Since Americans seem to feel the need for more closeness, this may be why the highest virtue among church greeters is their willingness to express human kindness. A warm-hearted church and a kind-hearted greeter go together like the pulpit and the sermon. In church work there is no warmness without kindness. Coolness is usually rudeness.
When church greeters allow their ministry to become officious by ordering people around, the good they hope to do becomes a stumbling block. Even being efficient in directing the flow of traffic is usually unproductive to relationships. Suggest, lead, guide, or do anything else that is an extension of the human smile-but don't order people. Be a warmhearted friend, not an officer.
The one common denominator that brings everyone down to the same level of equality is the need for human kindness. This is why Peter placed kindness above godliness and just below unconditional love in his hierarchy of Christian graces: ". . . and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love" (2 Peter 1:7).
KINDNESS TO NEW PEOPLE WHO FEEL STRANGE AND DON'T KNOW THEIR WAY AROUND
When Paul wrote about his shipwreck on the island of Malta, the first thing he mentioned was the kindness of the people to himself and the other strangers who had landed on their beach: "The islanders showed us unusual kindness. They built a fire and welcomed us all because it was raining and cold" (Acts 28:2, NIV). And the modern day strangers who come in out of the rain and cold of the weekday hassle into the sanctuary of your church will respond to that same flame that kindles human kindness.
KINDNESS TO THE ELDERLY WHO INCREASINGLY FEEL ALONE
In one of the bonding conversations which nourished their deep friendship, Jonathan said to David as they walked through the fields, "But show me unfailing kindness like that of the Lord as long as I live . . . and do not ever cut off your kindness from my family . .." (1 Sam. 20:14-15, NIV). As people grow older, kindness becomes increasingly important. If you want to minister to the Jonathans of this world, just let them hear that you have been kind to their family, especially their elderly.
KINDNESS TO THE CHILDREN WHO ARE OUTSIDE THEIR COMFORT ZONE
Hosea wrote some wonderful words about kindness to Israel, whom he called a child: "When Israel was a child ... I led them with chords of human kindness ... I lifted the yoke from their neck and bent down to feed them" (Hos. 11:1, 4). The most loved greeter in our church was a man who had a way with children who were uncomfortable in the spaces and sounds of a large foyer and the labyrinth of church corridors where people moved to and fro and carried on loud conversations. It is important to remember that small children may be easily lost or confused. They may be overpowered with the sight of strange adults who look like hordes of giants. Or they may just be uncertain of themselves in an unfamiliar setting. This good man always bent down, or even kneeled to say a reassuring word to a child who needed him. Because he had a reputation for loving children, he was also deeply appreciated by both the children and their parents, even their grandparents. In an era of broken homes, abuse, and loveless families, children are open more than ever to the ministry of a loving greeter. When a child needs a hug, give it to him or her.
KINDNESS TO MOTHERS WITH BABIES IN THEIR ARMS AND TODDLERS AT THEIR SIDES
Harried young mothers may be strong enough to do all they do, but they also are amenable to acts of kindness. Making a load lighter by lifting a package, opening the door, or helping a small child up the steps is more than a social civility. It is a way of saying "we are glad you are here" and "good things are waiting for you in this church."
KINDNESS TO PEOPLE WHO SHOW UP REGULARLY AT THE SAME TIME AND AT THE SAME DOOR EVERY WEEK
The dependable people who attend regularly may show no visible need for kindness. They may seem uninterested in your welcome greeting. But be friendly anyway, because the rewards in your ministry do not depend on reciprocation from the people you greet, but on the love of the Lord whom you serve.
KINDNESS TOWARD THE PASTOR AND STAFF WHO SOMETIMES NEED AN ADVOCATE AT THE DOOR
If someone feels the need to say an unkind word about your pastor or a staff member, find a way to come down on the pastor's side. The minister's load is big enough without a church greeter adding to his or her burden by reinforcing someone's negative feelings.
KINDNESS TO PEOPLE WITH SPECIAL PROBLEMS SUCH AS WHEELCHAIRS AND CRUTCHES
People who need specialized help because of physical problems may also need extra amounts of kindness and thoughtfulness. They may even learn to enter by your door exclusively just because they need the hug or loving pat on the shoulder you can be counted on to give. It is always good to anticipate the needs of wheelchair people, those on crutches, and those who use walkers. The elderly and the disabled need more time and more space than others, and more of the kindness you can provide.
KINDNESS TO PEOPLE WHO DON'T SEEM TO NEED IT
Sometimes kindness is misunderstood. When Peter and John were called in before the court following the healing of the lame man in Acts 3, Peter began his speech to the judge by saying, "If we are being called to account today for an act of kindness shown to a cripple ..." (Acts 4:9, NIV). In Jerusalem or wherever you live, there are people who will resist your welcome ministry even when it is extended in kindness. The unlovable drunks who wander in, the angry teenager who sulks through the door, the sullen neurotic who is out of tune with life, and even the panhandler who manipulates Christian humanitarianism for his own purposes are not immune to a kind attitude even when they do not respond favorably. We are not admonished to be kind to the people we like, but to each other, whoever the "other" may be.
Taken from The Greeter's Manual by Leslie Parrott. Copyright © 1993 by Leslie Parrott. Used by permission of Zondewan Publishing House.
